I think you are drugged by your own lies
maybe it’s because you don’t want to see the truth
but I see it in your eyes
in the way you dart from thought
to deed to your abject justification
of why you do the things you do
you know
those things
those salacious things
they are choices you make because something is missing
you already know this
you probably feel okay
but you are sinking to the bottom of Ophelia’s water
your unconscious mind trapping you
like a snapped willow branch
don’t worry
you will rise back to the top
your lungs emptied of air will still bring you to the surface
and you will begin again
because we lived in a gelatinous tidal pool for nine months
you breathe water
you feed through a tube
there are no instructions
no one tells you
but you know what to do
it’s primal
you emerge into the light
gravity assaults you
air chokes you
fear becomes survival
you gasp
you scream
your entrance is violent
you don’t remember this, do you?
your life begins in violence
and you don’t remember anything
don’t worry
it’s not your fault
you are programmed not to remember how you got here
but you are programmed to remember the choices that led you to the place
you don’t want to be
you keep fighting yourself
when you don’t need to
life will do that for you
you already know what to do
cede to your biology
to your primal programming
breathe in the life you want.